Some big decisions

So I was talking with a friend today about this whole blog thing that I have been doing. I was sharing with him that I have had this interal battle raging inside of me about what to share on here and what to hide or just fail to mention. He b. fought up a very good point when he asked me about what I am wr icing it for and do I ever expect the potential future child to read it. Good question........... I don't know. The truth is that I am filled with self doubt about this decision. I want another child soooo badly I am willing to go to the ends of the earth. I know that in my heart that I will be a terrific role model for my children and fell that I would raise the child right. BUT, I am really fritened about putting myself out there again, and get hurt....again. When we first started the fertility thing a few years ago I could not understand how someone could walk away from the possibility of having a kid. I told myself that I would tough it out for as long as it takes. Sign me up for what ever gets us a kid. By the end, I felt that my wife and I were in a sense....... broken. No matter how much we loved each other and continue to try, it wasn't in the cards for us. It broke my heart time and time again. I felt bad for my wife, my son and me. From that I grew to try and accept the fact that we were on,y going to be able to have 1 kid. So now the papers have been signed, we gave a check to the lawyer. We are ready to start this process. TOTAL INVESTMENT: $ 475 consultation, $5,100 lawyer fees.